In my experience, people are afraid of hunger.
I think this might be one of our larger issues in society today – the avoidance of hunger. Think about it, both literally and figuratively – we loathe unfulfilled desires. This is the whole basis of consumerism – the always wanting more, always satisfying the want for more. Talk to people, and a common goal will emerge: “I want to be able to ____ whenever I want”.
But there is a grace in hunger. Exploring the boundaries of wanting, feeling into that very physical need, is important to your relationship with yourself. Hunger is not bad, it is not dangerous, it is not going to kill you. But avoiding it might be.
If you fear your body’s hunger response, you might overeat. If you don’t understand your body’s hunger response, you might eat emotionally and without thinking. If you don’t know your own body’s hunger response, how can you ever be fulfilled?
People in the diet industry have long been promoting the lie that we need to keep shoveling small meals in our body. We must never not be digesting, lest those fragile digestive fires go out. But it takes about 3 days for your metabolism to make significant adjustments for a lack of calories – the “starvation mode” that we have been told to fear isn’t something that kicks in because you haven’t eaten in 8 hours. You can feel hungry. It won’t make you fat, it won’t give you an eating disorder. It’s okay.
So what does exploring hunger look like?
First, wait before you eat, just for one meal. Wait until you actually feel the pangs of hunger.
Then, spend some time actually feeling it. What is the sensation? What sensations are absent? What don’t you feel? Does the feeling of hunger bring up any anxiety or fear? Where are the edges of that feeling? Instead of immediately giving in to the hunger, explore it first.
Once you have a real sense of your own hunger response, ask your body what it wants. And sit with the hunger a little longer, without immediately satisfying that need. Does it change, once you have identified what you want to eat? Does it become more desperate, like a bladder that has just learned that there is a toilet within striking distance?
Have a glass of water. What does that do to your hunger?
Explore. You can’t really do this wrong.
Hunger is not something to fear. It is a signal that your stomach is empty. It is a desire to eat due to a lack of food, nothing more, nothing less. It should be respected, but not feared. Should you go on weeks long fasts? Probably not. But it will not hurt you to skip a meal and see what that lack feels like.
Play with your hunger. Get to know it. The more you know it, the better your relationship with it, the more you will be able to curb emotional eating and overeating. Hunger should not control you. It doesn’t need to be avoided. Befriend your hunger. It’s not the monster it’s been made out to be.